Saturday, October 22, 2005

R Place, South Range, WI

Wisconsin is known for having more bars than every other state. I don't have any actual data to back this up, and obviously it's per capita, but if you have ever driven through rural Wisconsin I think you would have to agree. It's difficult to go 10 miles in the middle of no where and not see a bar, usually with a few cars or trucks in the summer, and a few snowmobiles in the winter.

They serve as much more than bars though, it the local grocery, newspaper stand, advertising post, restaurant, campaign stops, gambling halls, gas station, dance clubs, and pool halls. Generally the food at taverns is quite good. Tombstone started in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin, where they would sell frozen pizzas to the bar and give them a free pizza oven if they sold their pizza's exclusively. It was the best pizza you could get at the time, but now Kraft has bought them out and it's crap now. Don't even get me started on Kraft cheese, which is a sorry excuse for the name they put on the front.

The R Place Tavern has a hook that makes you keep coming back. The owners have a Golden Retriever that sits outside most of the day until people start filling up the bar, then he barks to come in, so whatever patron is closest to the door lets him in. He scans the bar, finds his first target and goes over and nudges him with his nose. He's a little cunning about it at first, when you look away he runs in and hits you in the butt then takes a few steps back. You turn around and only see the dog looking at you, all the time thinking "What the hell?" If you aren't informed when you go in, someone will finally tell you that he wants a dollar.

This dog will not leave you alone until you give him a dollar. When you finally do, he takes the dollar and goes behind the bar and waits for a bartender. The bartender then takes the dollar from his mouth, and give him a stick of Jack Links Beef Jerky (also based in Wisconsin.) Since he is a dog, he can't get the wrapper off, he will bring it back to the person that gave him the dollar (and their change if he/she only had a $5, $10, or $20) and waits for them to unwrap it. Now you get to decide if you want to see him do tricks or just give him the jerky. I'm of the preference of just giving him the jerky so he can move on to someone else in the bar to bother. As soon as he scarves down the jerky he scans the bar again and moves in for more nose to ass action on someone else.

So if you ever get up to Northern Wisconsin you need to stop by the R Place Tavern


Blogger Chilly said...

I went to college with an heir to the Tombstone "fortune". They sold it for not a lot of money from what I understand.

3:14 PM  

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